Empathy under pressure is one of the most defining and difficult challenges we face as leaders.

What does it really look like when you have to sit across from someone and tell them they are leaving your organization?

This is one of the hardest moments in leadership. It is also one of the most revealing.

In this episode of Reflect Forward, I sit down with Mimi Nicklin, a global empathy advocate and bestselling author, to explore what happens in that moment when performance and humanity collide. When you know the decision is right for the business, and at the same time, you feel the weight of how it will impact someone’s life.

For a long time, I believed those two realities were in tension. That empathy might soften my resolve. Or that decisiveness might make me cold. This conversation challenged that assumption in a meaningful way.

Mimi reframes empathy as something entirely different from how most of us think about it. It is not about being nice. It is not about avoiding discomfort. It is a cognitive and biological capability that directly impacts how we lead, make decisions, and connect with others.

We start with a very real scenario. The termination conversation. I share what it feels like in my body when I know I have to make that call. The tension, the responsibility, the instinct to move through it quickly because it is uncomfortable. Mimi breaks down what is actually happening in the brain during those moments and why empathy can feel inconvenient when we are under stress.

What stood out most to me is that empathy does not naturally show up when we need it most. In fact, under pressure, our brains shift into a fight or flight response that makes it harder to access empathy. That means if we want to lead with empathy, it has to be intentional. It is a practice, not a personality trait.

We also spend time clarifying the difference between empathy, sympathy, and compassion. This distinction matters more than most leaders realize. Empathy is the ability to understand another person’s perspective. Sympathy is the emotional response to that understanding. Compassion is the action we take. When we blur these lines, we either become too detached or too emotionally involved, both of which impact our ability to lead effectively.

One of the most important parts of this conversation is how we hold high standards while remaining deeply human. I have seen leaders, myself included at times, fall into the trap of over identifying with someone’s situation and delaying a decision that ultimately needs to be made. On the other side, I have seen leaders become overly transactional, prioritizing speed over dignity.

The real work is learning how to stay grounded in the middle.

Mimi shares practical ways to approach difficult conversations with clarity and empathy. It does not require hours of discussion or perfect language. It requires presence, listening, and the willingness to acknowledge the reality of what someone is experiencing without trying to fix it.

This conversation also challenged how I think about stress and leadership over time. It is not that we become numb to hard decisions. It is the accumulation of stress and constant pressure that can wear us down if we are not intentional about how we process it. Experience helps, but only if we are actually learning from it.

At the end of the day, leadership will always require difficult decisions. That will not change. What can change is who we are as we make them.

Mic Drop Moments

• “Empathy is not a soft skill. It is a cognitive capability that drives performance.”
• “Under stress, your brain works against your ability to be empathetic. It must be intentional.”
• “Empathy, sympathy, and compassion are not the same, and confusing them leads to poor leadership decisions.”
• “You can hold high standards and treat people with dignity at the same time.”
• “Most people do not need you to solve their problems. They need you to acknowledge them.”

Key Takeaways

• Empathy is a skill that can be developed through practice and intention
• Nervous system regulation is critical for leading effectively under pressure
• Difficult conversations should be approached with clarity, presence, and respect
• Leaders must learn to zoom out and consider the impact on the entire organization
• Experience only improves leadership if you actively reflect and learn from it
• The way you handle hard decisions defines your leadership more than the decisions themselves

If you are leading a team, you will face these moments when you need to exhibit empathy under pressure. The question is not whether you will have to make hard decisions. It is how you will show up when you do.

Connect with Mimi

Website: www.empathyeverywhere.co
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/miminicklin/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/miminicklin/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/miminicklin

Connect with Me

Please order my book, The Ownership Mindset, on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. And sign up for the preorder list for my new book, Talk with Trust, coming out in August 2026.

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